Some Things

So, you know how I did French immersion almost 2 years ago?  Well, I had a professor, I think I've mentioned her before, who is a survivor of the Rwandan genocide.  For all you francophones, she's just released a book about her experience!! http://www.editionslaurenceteper.com/fiche-livre.asp?Clef=41

So you can buy it on amazon: http://amazon.qc.ca/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=berthe+kayitesi&x=0&y=0

I want to pick it up and read it.  Sometimes inspiring people just fall into your lap and you don't even really stop a moment to think about it.

Onto other things, though, as this is my blog and I'm egotistical like that.

I've been all over the place mentally lately.  Though, I want to focus on one subject which will bleed into others, but I should start somewhere, right?

I've been looking into moving to New Orleans.  It seems like a drastic thing which will pass in the coming days, but I've taken some steps to make this plan actually happen, and it feels good, if strange.

I spent a chunk of the morning texting with Emily about the possibility of moving and what it would entail, time lines and all that stuff.  I e-mailed Tulane about their French and Business programs, their non-traditional student application process and some of their student services.  I've yet to hear back from Tulane, but I got an out of office message telling me the counselor who specializes with Massachusetts prospective students will be out of the office until tomorrow.  We'll see how that goes with that.

As for moving, I'm toying with the idea of getting rid of my car completely when I do it.  The one hang up, though, is that it limits my ability to get around a lot.  New Orleans has a bus system and limited tram/street car.  Most of the getting around, especially getting out, of the city is through car.  I also would need a method by which to get out in the event of an evacuation for a hurrican (which is a possibility since I'd be moving to a lovely hurricane prone area).

My car loan is up in June, so it gives me the opportunity to buy a new one or ditch it all together.  I'm leaning toward buying a new (as in, like, I'm the first owner new) car and learning how to drive manual.  If I can drive manual, I can pay what I pay now for this car with something that's going to easily last me 10 years.  I've been looking into getting a station wagon (yes, station wagon) because it gets the gas mileage of a sedan while have a lot more storage space (because, with evacuation, I'm going to want to take my valuables like my computer in case of severe damage or looting).  It'll also allow me to ship less stuff when I move because I can drive with it.  I'll also be able to drive a new car down there without worrying as much if it's going to shit out on me.

There's also been a lot of BIG SHINING ARROWS for me going down South, as I've explained to a few people.

Firstly, I've been feeling very stagnant and stuck up here.  I've been wanting a change of big proportions even when I was in school.  I was placated for a while moving out of the house and establishing myself, but it's waned because I've not been able to land a better job with more potential up here.  Everything I'm looking for requires this magical "3+ years experience" for something that is, really, not anything someone with that many years needs to do the job.  I've got the skills and the talent, but no one is interested in hiring me.  It sounds like time to go back to school and investigate greener pastures.

Secondly, Emily point blank asked me if I'd be interested in moving in with her in New Orleans before I went down there to visit.  It had totally taken me by surprise, and I didn't just say "no" on instinct.  I was open to the idea, even if I hadn't considered it.  I like Louisiana a great deal, and I definitely want to get out --even if just for a couple years.

Thirdly, I think New England is making me into someone I really don't want to be.  I desperately fighting the exclusivity and coldness that typifies the culture here.  It's not to say I want to go running around chatting every random person up; I just feel like New England is making me into a hard, distrusting and even distant person.  I need to get out of this for the betterment of myself.

Fourth, I've encountered absolutely no heavy resistance from anyone I've talked to when mentioning my desire to move down South.  It's all been "GO FOR IT!"  It's really refreshing to know I've surrounded myself with such supportive people who really encourage me to go out and do, but it also shows how much getting out and getting away is really in my self-interest.  I'd miss everyone dearly up here because you all are (some literally) my family.  I would never forget or leave any of you in the dust because I love you all way too much to do that to you.

The people that I've talked to about it have actually helped me push my ass into doing this and somewhat committing to it. I've actually gotten a couple people to say "what's holding you back?  you/we're still young and have every chance to do it."

Fifth, I was talking with my boss today.  We've actually grown into pretty good friends over the last couple months.  We were in the parking lot taking a break and she started asking me about my trip -- what I did, if I know anyone down there, all of that.  Then she mentions to me if I've ever thought about moving down there.  I artfully answer the question (remember, I don't lie).  I say "Yeah, I've thought about it, but I'm way too poor to move anywhere."  She proceeds to tell me about someone else who used to work at the Bureau who was in a similar situation to what I'm in (used the Bureau to get their feet wet in the professional world, but it isn't their world-ending dream to work there).

He, one day, just moved out to California to work in IT.  He knew no one, had no job and had to find a place to live -- all that stuff -- but he did it and now he's doing really well for himself.  He never would have had that opportunity had he not just taken the plunge and done it.

I know my boss well enough to know that she wasn't saying "get out now while you have the chance" so much as "don't discount it as much as you think."  It's almost as if there's a feeling at the Bureau that I'm almost beyond working there, to some extent.  It's a weird feeling.  I have this respect from management that I've worked hard to attain and I think, at a certain point, they almost want to see me go off and do other things so I can "live up to my full potential".  They've seen how hard I work and how passionate I am about doing well.  It's both refreshing and worrisome as I don't want it to be the reason they'd axe me if there's another round of lay offs.

There are downsides to moving, of course, as there always are.  But, I think, for me mentally, this would be a good thing.  I just need to start seriously saving money to make it happen and have it work.  New Orleans is definitely not the happy shiny city (comparatively) that Boston is.  It's seedier; there's more crime; it's more unsafe.  But, I think, I would do well to move there, go back to school, and really just get it going actually more on my own.  See what I'm made of and really get to test myself.

A recurring theme in my life is "untapped potential".  It's almost a mantra how often I'm told I have this in my life.  This would be an opportunity for me to tap into it and really establish myself.

At this point, I'm going to do it.  I've started putting pieces into place and I'm moving forward.

I'm making an action plan -- it's exhilirating and terrifying; exciting and numbing; logical and absurd.  It's pretty much everything I feel I am.

And, it certainly allows me to pursue more of those question marks floating around my head.